Letter to a Distracted Driver

Dear Madam who we saw driving on the freeway this afternoon,

First of all, we know your conversation was very important.  We could tell by all of your gesturing into the air as you drove.  We are also quite aware that you are a very important person.  You clearly informed everyone else on the freeway of this by the fact that you continued your conversation despite creating a traffic hazard for the rest of us.

But let us lesser mortals request your consideration on this particular matter.  We know you have a Bluetooth headset, because you proudly parade it around when you are shopping, talking to others in person, and even while at dinner.  We are confused then, as to why it is you drive with your phone held up to your ear.  Perhaps you should try swapping the times you do and don’t wear your headset.  Yes, yes, we know that you paid a fortune for it from the AT&T store, and you want everyone to know how special you are.  But please just know that no one is impressed by this anymore, and the other people you see laughing it up at the table across from you in the restaurant, that’s us.  We are laughing at you.

But all of that is away from the actual point of our letter.  You see, the heart of the matter is this.  Unfortunately, you are a horrible driver.  I know it hurts, but the sting of any rebuke is the truth.  You are lucky that you live in such a free society that doesn’t have restrictive laws, because any less benevolent society would beat you with rods and give you a skateboard to travel on.

All of this is made much much worse by the fact that you are chatting away to Helen or Tom, or whomever it is, and are completely oblivious to everyone else on the road.  If you are as wealthy and important as you would lead everyone else to believe, hire a driver and chat all you want.

——

People we’ve offended: people who drive while talking on the phone, people who wear their Bluetooth headsets everywhere, people who don’t realize that others exist

~ by everyoneelse on August 15, 2008.